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June 2007

Lame test

I got it from Cap'n Crook. He's not lame.

Maybe this is good if you're, like, 20 or something. It was kind of really puerile. And it was irritating to be asked if I'd visited a few coastal states or all 50 of them. Hello? Most of the states are not on the coasts. You could check no boxes, look like you hadn't travelled, yet been to over 40 of them.

Interestingly, or perhaps not, the first part describes me as almost exactly the opposite of every other personality test I've ever taken.

And there was no accounting for the fact that I'm unemployed because I'm an actual "homemaker." Real tests ask about household income, not individual. Anyway. Here it is. Why, because I don't know why. For a sense of closure, perhaps.


There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We're turning that upside down - all the questions affect all the results, and we've got some innovative results too! Enjoy :-)

Personality
You are more emotional than logical, more concerned about self than concerned about others, more atheist than religious, more loner than dependent, more lazy than workaholic, more rebel than traditional, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more idealist than cynical, more leader than follower, and more extroverted than introverted.

As for specific personality traits, you are intellectual (74%), innovative (71%), romantic (57%), adventurous (56%).


Stereotypes
Young Professional100%
Prep69%
Old Geezer67%
 
Life Experience
Sex33%
Substances11%
Travel21%

Politics
Your political views would best be described as Libertarian, whom you agree with around 100% of the time.
 Socioeconomic
Your attitude toward life best associates you with Upper Middle Class. You make more than 0% of those who have taken this test, and 100% less than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13.
By the way, your hottness rank is 64%, hotter than 64% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

Hah. My life would so not be viewable by children. Seriously, lame test. However, I offer it up, because comparisons are always fun, and we don't all find lameness in the same things. But if you're still thought of as a "purity peep," this test is definitely not for you.


Loser of the week?

Yeah, I'm looking at you, Isaiah Washington. You said this, you really did, so don't go pretending later on that you didn't.

"Well, it didn't help me on the set that I was a black man who wasn't a mush-mouth Negro walking around with his head in his hands all the time. I didn't speak like I'd just left the plantation and that can be a problem for people sometime(s.)"

I don't know what you think you said, but I'll tell you how it sounds to everyone else. To everyone else, it sounds like you just accused a whole lot of black folk of sucking up to Whitey in order to keep their jobs in the house. You just accused all the other black actors who do their work each week without offending their fellow castmates, of bowing and scraping in order to not be sent farther south in chains.

Here's a roundup of some my favorite black characters of the 2006-2007 season. The thing is, I had to think real hard about this, Mr. Washington, because, in my puny head, my enjoyment of them really had little to do with where their ancestors first appeared on the earth.

                           
                                                            Guess it's a good thing for my television enjoyment that they're mush-mouthed Negros, since they'll all still be on their shows this coming season. Yes, these are supporting or ensemble characters. I can't personally turn the world into a place where the lead character's background is always completely colorless, but the way I see it, you're not doing anybody any favors either, Mr. Washington, with your witless, self-righteous blatherings. So shut up and call your agent. 









QotD: What I Love About Summer

What do you enjoy most about summer?
Submitted by Alex.

I have to answer Alex's question! But gee whiz. I like everything about summer that separates it from all the other seasons! It's warm and shiny and green and things are growing and smelling good and I don't have to wear a lot of clothes or shoes, and I want to embrace it all.

I might have more to say about that later on.


QotD: My Movie Cliché Moment

What movie cliché would you most like to live out in real life? 
Submitted by Wes.  

Many seemingly chance encounters with a handsome, slightly older man in a foreign city, some rain, a train or a boat, a tiny and meddlesome but loving housekeeper who speaks a dialect I can't always make out, leading to an amusing but easily resolved misunderstanding about his relationship with the woman who turns out to be his sister, and a really big family dinner at the villa we now will share for the rest of our days. Or at least a while. 


word to your mother

Online Dating

Mingle2 - Online Dating

I don't care about that. What I care about is this:

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

    * gay (4x)
    * sex (3x)
    * puke (2x)
    * punch (1x

That's completely messed up. I shudder at the fascist state of the union when words can be age-rated out of context. Or, you know, just rated at all. Plus, dude, they didn't even pick up where Cap'n said fuck the other day. Or the whole weekly nonsense about who we'd all have pretend sex with. I know, it's just a little game. But honestly. No.


circling haiku

Hi there, haiku group,

this looks like a fun spot to hang. I have enjoyed what I've read so far. Here are some haiku I wrote a few years ago, that I still feel pretty good about.

circling haiku

cracklings underfoot
gather sage and tarragon
deepen evening's broth

shadow crosses plain
dryad takes a winter nap
dreaming of rebirth

willow blossoms drift
april breezes tickle earth
waking those at rest

fragrant petals yawn
lily moistens from within
nectar on my tongue


the morning in haiku

I have a poetry blog that I haven't had time for lately. I intended to do a couple of these as warm-up, then work on a piece of writing I've had sitting around for awhile, but they didn't go anywhere good, plus I got way off track. I thought you might enjoy them, though.

Haiku traditionally include a nature element, but laziness is more of a tradition for me.

Warm-up exercise
graceless scribblings in my book
fresh air not required

Flicker on my screen
I imagine you are here
nibbling at my ear

White shoes in summer
sipping iced tea on the lawn
time to play croquet

Liquid sharp and cold
a juniper infusion
gently bathes my lime

Living in a cave
all the world seems dark and cold
sunlight disappeared



Passing the buck, or on the level?

I won't just be going on and on about this, but I just read another article in the Star-Ledger about this yearbook thing. In it, Superintendent Bolden says she never wanted to hurt a kid's feelings, and personally apologized to him. He's being presented with the only remaining unaltered copy of the yearbook at his graduation ceremony tonight, and others will arrive in a few weeks. All students are receiving a copy of the photo tonight.

She implies that she was only shown this one photo, and that her decision was based on her notion that it was the only kissing photo, not that it was the only kissing boy one. In other words, someone else behaved "homophobically" in bringing it to her attention.

She may be telling the truth about that. I still think she should have looked at the rest of the book before making her decision. And further, about 50 teachers helped black out all the copies. Why did none of them take a stand against it?


Death is not an option Wednesday: yes but no edition

I wanted a breath of fresh air, with people who are talented and amusing instead of tiresome and/or too weird to contemplate. I like both these guys, more and more as time passes.

Yet, no.

Both are Jewish actors, both have a really sly and smart sense of humor, and both are men I'd never want to sleep with. How about you?

 
You can see a Belzervision video here, and one featuring Henry Winkler here.

I really wanted to do Larry King with somebody. But I keep showing these really old guys, and also I couldn't decide on a suitable matchup. Consensus around here was that people would even take Jay Leno over him if it came down to it. So here's a bonus question:

You could save the world from aliens/terrorists/an asteroid by sleeping with Larry King. Would you?






My drama is not your drama

I took this OK Cupid test that tests whether you are all straight, bi or gay. I assumed I was healthily completely me. Testmaker disagrees. I got only 39 out of 52 heterosexual. Apparently, if you let someone of the same sex hug you and are not sickened by it, you are not completely heterosexual, and are mildly curious about same sex--sex.

The test had two halves. The first was what you'd do or want to do with the opposite sex, the second was with same sex. And all you have to be is not repulsed at a hug or a slap on the bottom to be considered slightly gay.

Dude. Whatever. No. Be whoever you are, but don't tell me that just because I might hug a friend means I secretly want her to touch my girly parts. That's just sad, man. It says way more about your confusion than it does about my lack of it.

Recently, this funny black chick at my Passions forum referred to a black character on Passions as simian-like. Why do I know the chick is black? Well, it's a purposeful style of writing, and she's alluded to it, anyway. Smart, like most TWoP people I hang around, but with a touch of colloquialism that's clearly designed to be amusing, yet is authentic.

Anyway, some other person took offense and said that was a slur against black folk. But a couple other black forum posters were like, but dude, she does look like a monkey. And this is totally true.

The offended person had to come back and teach us all that this was once a slur. OH YEAH? WAS IT REALLY? THANKS FOR THE LESSON, YOU TIRESOME HAG. She's missing the fricking point, of course, in saying that for always and forever, we can't be honest in language or description because of some crappy old people who were stupid and fearful of each other, or whatever. My god, move along, NOW, because I'm tired of your politically correct need to perpetuate stupid old stereotypes.

So anyway, this means that I was making a racial slur about Mel Gibson the other day when I said he looked like a monkey. And also, if I hug one of you female friends, or don't punch you if you slap my behind, I might want to lick you.

I HATE PEOPLE. Okay, more specifically, I hate people who think that by forcing us all into the nebulous undefined middle, we'll all love and accept each other and la la lah. SHUT UP.

A FEW DAYS AGO IN TRENTON, a school administrator had faculty black out a photo in every yearbook before handing it out. A senior boy had paid 150 dollars to create his own memory page in the book, and included a photo of him kissing his boyfriend. The newspaper totally printed it. It was a sweet photo. The administrator claimed it was provocative. Others claimed there were heterosexual kisses in the book that were more so. She now claims she didn't understand about that. After newspaper coverage, and calls from the ACLU and a gay rights group, the yearbooks are being reprinted, and the whole senior memory page thing is being rethought for next year.

In this particular school, gay kids are accepted by the other kids, but maybe not so much by the stupid adults. I dunno. I'm glad this tiny battle was won. How heart-sickening must it have been for this young man to see his photo blackened out, like part of who he was had been blackened out? Maybe no kissing photos should be in the book, but these kids are all doing plenty of kissing anyway, aren't they?  What makes some of the kissing okay and not the rest of it?

But my full acceptance of other people, living and letting live, being and letting be, does not make me secretly wish to be someone other than who I am. My pageant wish for the world is that the meddlers will let me accept everyone without wanting to be everyone. That's the only way anyone is going to get to truly be comfortable with our differences. You got people on one side charging on about embracing differences, and people on the other side saying we have no differences. They're both ridiculous.

We are all ingredients of a tasty stew. Just different enough from each other to create a nice meal, but not all that much different. But do you want to eat stew after it's been pureed in a blender? No, because then it would be nutritious puke. Without even any fiber, because you don't digest puke, you send it into the toilet, instead.

If there's a point somewhere in here, feel free to find it and point it out. I have to do other junk now.


Vox Hunt: It's A Thin Line...

Show us something you love but everyone else hates. 
Submitted by AKA Vasquez.  

So far I have thought of premium gin, which people would love if they studied it as I have, and eggplant, unless it's cooked improperly and rendered soggy, and Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, even in the Dork years. Surely there's more. But I've been clicking around to see what others have listed, and so far I don't really hate much of it. Who hates kim-chee, for instance? That is one delicious relish.

If I think of anything better, I will report back.

 




updates

  • If I haven't commented enough on *your* Vox lately, I apologize. Using this borrowed computer in between kids' power hours is kind of annoying. Plus I am so used to a laptop, I feel uncomfortable with the iMac, though it's way faster, way bigger, and generally better in most every way. I have the keyboard in my lap, which helps, but still it's not mine.
  • Time limited, I'll be posting stuff over the next, oh, 8-10 days without commenting on every other neighbor post, but I will at least try to keep current, because I like you. I really like you. Since I can't be 100% diligent about reciprocation just now, feel free to turn up your nose at whatever I'm posting here. I'm good with that.
  • Still not certain where we're moving, except farther from the beach and probably without a pool. Wah.
  • Yesterday was Theron's birthday. My baby is 9! Later I'm going to do a whole long neighborhood post about that, with photos.
  • I posted two pictures of ME yesterday, that I took while waiting around at a cold baseball game. One with incandescent light and one without. The warm-looking one I like because sometimes I have lioness eyes. It's good to note positive aspects of oneself, yes? The other one is odd, but I like it because I am often odd. If you click twice on them, they're positively enormous. Normally I don't do this with web photos, especially of myself because that seems a touch vain, as well as requiring more processor--ness. But then I thought about how cool it is that you could fill someone's screen with your face and that someone could be anywhere in the world (though they're probably not,) forced to stare into your dark and creepy eyes. It was a thrilling thought.
  • I read someone's opinion this weekend about how blogs are degrading the information process, and watering down public knowledge. You know, those blogs that tell you things and offer opinions and so forth.

    Okay, whatever. We have a community here. We can make it whatever we like. We can nod politely at the dull bits     and embrace the wonderful ones. It's a mostly benign power, and I like it. I think you do as well.



Indulgences

I'm having some today, and thought I'd share. First, I'm making Cafe Borgia. I've grated orange peel into the coffee grounds called Cinnadoodle, making that double strength and combining it 1:1 with chocolate milk. I got a free container of Nesquick at the store today. For summer, pour over ice, add whipped cream if you like. This isn't an official recipe or anything, just an idea of the moment.

Then I'm making basil lemon pistou, and a white bean dip, and I have already made a tomato topping, for bruschetta. Since the rest of the family won't just eat bread dipped in stuff and be satisfied that it's dinner, I'm also making zucchini fritters.

The pistou recipe is from a book called Mediterranean Cooking, and the bean dip is from oh, everywhere, probably. You're on your own for tomato topping, but I just added, um, basil, balsamic vinegar, and garlic. Also, I wrote this for my old blog, so if you saw that, you've seen this.

Why pistou, you ask? Well, it's francais for a kind of pesto! in the original version, there's no cheese, and there are never nuts, so it would not really be called pesto by the, um, basil-garlic sauce pedants of the world.

Thing about pistou, just like pesto, is that you can pretty much do whatever you like to it, beyond the basic requirements of basil, olive oil, and garlic. with a tetch of salt. hey, you know how salt is mad cheap? Go for broke, spend a dollar more, and get sea salt. It's brighter, somehow, in flavor.

Why do I know this stuff? honey, I just do. I make it my business to know! Actually, I just read a lot of cookbooks. Pistou is also used in brothy soup.

You may substitute another variety of basil for the lemon, as long as it's basically basil in aroma. If you do, add the zest of an entire lemon, instead of the weensy bit called for here.

And you may substitute parmiggiano for asiago. I'd recommend leaving out the salt if you do. Asiago is my personal preference for nearly anything that calls for parmiggiano.

You will note my proportions are not exact. That is how I do things.

We eat this stuff on fried things, like eggplant or salmon cakes. You may use it with pasta.

Oh--use it right away, really. You can frig it, and just stir the oil back in for use, for a couple of days? But it's not as nice.

Take about 2 cups of basil leaves (packed in pretty well,) and chop at them for a little while. Then add them to a mortar. (What is this you call food processor? Okay, you can use it, but I arch my eye at you like this--.) Add 4 cloves of peeled, squashed garlic (you may use the equivalent from a jar) and a pinch of sea salt.

Commence pounding. Or pulsing, if you take that route. When a paste is formed, put it in a bowl that's the size you like to work in. Like, medium. (Always use a slightly larger bowl than the one you think you need. Just trust me on that. ) Or leave it in the food processor.

Add a cup of well-grated asiago cheese, and either a couple of pinches of lemon zest, or a whole lemon's worth, depending on your basil. stir, pound, pulse, or otherwise blend. (You can grate it through the food processor, if you want to switch blades back and forth, but be careful not to have it set too high. And the cheese really does have to come in after the basil and garlic.)

Finally, add between 1/2-2/3 cups of good olive oil. You will stream this in a little at a time and stir, if you're being old-fashioned and time-consuming like me, or stream it in while the machine is blending on low, if you're everyone else.

Check the texture after 1/2 cup, because you may want to keep it that way. The original recipe calls for 2/3 cup.

I promise I will not tell a soul, if, after you've tasted the pistou, you wish to add a bit of freshly-grated black pepper.

For the bean dip, drain and smash one 10 oz can of garbanzo or white beans, and add a healthy teaspoon of chopped garlic, a tablespoon of lemon juice, and 1/4 cup of olive oil. Blend it together well, and season with sea salt and freshly cracked black pepper.

We sliced different kinds of bread, dabbed a bit of olive oil and sea salt on them, and baked them, then dipped them in the bean stuff. You could leave off the olive oil. We only used a tiny bit.

Do you want to know how to make zucchini fritters? You have to start about 2 hours early. This is also from the Mediterranean Cooking book.

Grate 1 lb of zucchini into a strainer, sprinkle it with salt, let it sit for one hour, then rinse throroughly, and dry on paper towels.

Sift 2/3 cup flour into a bowl, make a well in the center, add 1 egg yolk, and 2/3 cup oil. Measure out 5 tbs of water, and add a little to the bowl. Beat the egg yolk and oil, gradually incorporating the flour and water to make a smooth batter. Season (salt, pepper, etc.) and let sit for 30 minutes.

Stir the zucchini into the batter, beat your leftover egg white until stuff, then fold into the batter.

Heat 1/2 inch of oil in a frying pan. Add spoonfuls of batter to the oil and fry for 2 minutes until golden. Drain on paper towels, serve with pistou, or another sauce.